Let’s Talk About It

Bonjour! I don’t have anything particularly cute to say right here, but here’s what’s in my head.

  • I work at the library and do social experiments that involve changing the books on display to things I would like people to read and/or that I find entertaining. These could books about climate change, poop, investing, books authored by our current (American) president, dinosaurs, etc. I just finished reading Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out and had it on display and two tween girls walked by looked at the cover and said “eeew that’s disgusting”. I wanted to tell them so many things and  encourage them to open the book, read parts of it or check the book out, and learn. But that isn’t my place. I said nothing. For a lot of reasons.
  • On facebook, I’m friends with a black woman, a former co-worker who recently lost her husband very suddenly a few months back. She talks about her grieving and how hard things are for her now, and then her friend was killed by a stray bullet in Chicago. So much pain. She voiced all of her raw emotions and every single fucking black person said “I’ll pray for you” or something like that. Not “what do you need?” “are you in a support group?” “have you talked to a grief counselor?” Shit like that fucks me all the way up. Black people and mental health. Ps. I’m an atheist.
  • Every time I go to something at my kids’ school, the suburban moms are like “oh you came? That’s so sweet!” and I want to say “Yes bitch my kid graduating 5th grade is something I’m going to come to. In the working world we have this thing called ‘time off'”. For the record, I don’t go to everything at my kids’ school, but to be fair, I also work full time and I have three kids. But I don’t say anything. I never feel similar to the other moms. I dress too weird, or listen to too much gangsta rap sometimes or I have on green eyeliner or I talk about going to Milan to see Beyonce with my mom or I have my own job and money (and backup plan) and we can’t relate to each other. I spend way too much time thinking about this.
  • Here is my personality. I’m not even kidding.


I could go on. But I won’t right now. I’ll be in touch.





  1. I think it’s a very good thing that you’re speaking your mind. Too often, we censor ourselves, worried about what people will think of what we say, too concerned about being “likable” (whatever that is). For the record, everyone should open their minds and read things about the world outside their own narrow borders. Also, you’re right about people needing to offer more specific and helpful words to your friend on Facebook. Sounds like there are lots of things she might need. As for the moms – pfft. If they don’t think green eyeliner and Beyonce are cool, good luck relating to their own kids. Let them listen to their Lawrence Welk 8-tracks from K-Tel while they exchange Jell-O mold recipes and have done!

  2. Gabrielle, thank you for commenting. I think my friend is doing slightly better with her grief.

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