ugly ducklings and swans


I’m not sure how to start this post, but I want to talk about how I felt like an “ugly duckling” when I was younger. And this isn’t to say that makeup and fake hair will suddenly make you feel and look beautiful and then your life will be fabulous. But I have noticed, that when I like how I look, I am more confident, happier and enjoy my life more. Ever notice how happy most people are after a “makeover”? Here’s my makeover story.


Me at 18. I felt like a total ugly duckling. I got all my (damaged) hair chopped over christmas break and didn’t really know how to curl it on my own. No makeup, the same hoodie every single day. I wish I could tell you how much my family life sucked back then and how I was failing all of my college classes and how I felt like the ugliest girl at my school. I sought out a photographer though and wanted to take these pictures.

Photo 1

The first picture I took with my new macbook computer back in 2008. I paid in all cash. I still blog on the same computer.


After I filed for divorce I started taking belly dance classes. This was 2009. I felt sexy, powerful and very feminine. I wish I still danced.

Photo 129

I cringe looking at this picture now. Still no makeup. But I was mostly happy.

Photo 140

In front of my webcam pretending to be editorial for myspace.

Photo 40

It’s funny how when we are young we think we are so fat and then we are older we wish we had the body we did when we were younger. I think I was 26 here.


This blurry picture got me a facebook warning. Not even kidding. But just imagine how much confidence it took for me to be able to post it. I felt so brave. My dream job back then was “Victoria’s Secret Angel”.


Grad school and my real hair. I was smiling because I got a B in biostatistics.


Just started dabbling in makeup again (first dabble was in 9th grade). This is right after one of those free facials/makeovers at the Origins counter. The lady did a really good job. I felt beautiful.


Blonde (wig) in California. Remarried. Mother of two. The world felt like my oyster that day (but what does that even mean?).


Currently. More sure of myself. Some days I even consider myself a “babe” and/or “pretty”. I have developed my own style, know how to do my own makeup and can almost walk in heels.

So as you can see, I didn’t always look the way I look now. And hopefully, I keep changing and growing as I get older.

Did you go through an awkward phase? Were you always the pretty girl? What did you look like in high school? Do you like how you look now?






One Comment

  1. Love this post. So many people have similar feelings, but people rarely share. You are such a beauty! (Inside & out.)

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