my rings

Bonjour!

I’m a newlywed and I proudly wear my dream ring and wedding band every day. It is white gold with 1 carat of diamonds and reminds me of flower crowns and the roses my husband gave me on our first Valentine’s Day. The wedding band has even more diamonds. No taking them off for anything, except to get it cleaned every six months. My husband tells me I should take them off at night or when I do certain things but I always scoff at him. I enjoy being married, I enjoy my ring and to be perfectly honest, I feel more respected as a black woman and mom with my rings on. I feel like people aren’t judging me nearly as harshly.

Sadly today I woke up to an itchy swollen ring finger. My ring was digging into my skin and causing me tremendous amounts of pain. I tried soap, vegetable oil, lube, dental floss and various other youtube ideas to get it off to no avail. So I scooped up my tired hungry kids and headed to the fire department to see if they could help.

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Firefighters are extremely helpful and nice, and they said they would happily cut it off, but suggested I go to my jeweler first because they could see how much the ring meant to me and didn’t want to ruin something so expensive.

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All of this was before 9am. My ring finger was stinging and uncomfortable and my kids were hot and hungry. The jewelery store at the mall didn’t open until 10am too. By this time, I was extremely upset. And then the jeweler said they don’t cut rings off.

Going to the regular ER alone and having to wait hours and hours to be seen by a doctor is exhausting and frustrating. I went with two small children. It was completely awful, my finger hurt and my wedding ring was going to be cut off. I did not cry but I wanted to.

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So now my sliced rings are in a plastic biohazard bag from the hospital. My finger feels naked and sore.

I don’t like this at all. My husband and I sometimes talk about how among our married friends we are the one of the few couples who consistently wear their wedding rings every day. Prince William has never worn a wedding ring. Beyonce and many other famous women don’t always wear their rings either. I’m sure their marriages are fine. But that isn’t for me. I don’t feel like myself without my rings and I didn’t realize I’d be this upset to not have them on.

Once my finger heals and my skin grows back I’ll have my rings repaired and resized. Both my jeweler and the hospital assured me that this an easy fix and very common. It doesn’t make it suck any less though. This has been quite the day.

Au Revoir

5 Comments

  1. Oh sweetie! Your poor finger! It looks like it really hurts!

    Take care! If you have any, lavender essential oil is good at helping to ease the icing abd pain while helping the skin to heal.

    And I hear you on the rings. Being a single momma, I too got the “looks”. Once we got married I didn’t feel as self conscious.

  2. OH NO! I am so sorry. I had to take my rings to the jeweler and he had to have them for weeks because there were trace amounts of nickel in the metal and I am severely allergic to metal. My finger was SOOOO messed up.

    But something resonated with me here. You know what I look like – I am whiter than white from the outisde! BUT I am 1/2 Colombian, many black members of my beautiful family originating from Morocco. I really wish we didn’t live in a world where anyone has to feel they’re respected more for metal and stones around their fingers, but I know what you write is true.

    I hope your finger is better and those rings are fixed now!

      • Now that they are soldered back together, can you physically tell that they’ve been cut? I believe I will need to have my wedding band cut off today, the pain is getting worse. I’m 9 months pregnant (so much swelling!)

      • Jenny, I can’t tell that they’ve been cut. I have no idea how jewelry makers do this, but they are amazing. My rings look completely perfect again. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

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