use me don’t abuse me

Bonjour!

I have so many beauty products! I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a beauty product junkie/makeup hoarder and give serious side eye when people tell me I have too much makeup. Because I wear it. Every single day is a special occasion to me. I don’t believe in saving things for later. I get just as excited about finishing up a product as I do about purchasing a new one.

Here’s a few things I’m trying to use up:

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Laura Mercier Full Blown Volume Lash Mascara in Black (sample size): This mascara is pretty average and not something I would every buy because it stinks like ass. It came in my birchbox.

Pixie Dust Roll On Perfume Oil (sample size?): This is the sweetest candy/cake scent I’ve ever smelled. I am obsessed with it. When this is all gone, I’d think about buying this except the scent doesn’t last very long. It came in my ipsy bag.

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BVLGARI L’eau de Parfum in Omnia (sample size): Random free sample I got in the mail. Smells lovely.

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Bath and Body Works Fragrance Mist in Cool Coconut Surf: These little sprays are inexpensive and perfect for hot summer days when you need to freshen up. Imagine if it were slightly cool from being in the fridge… omg.

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Dr. Lipp Original Nipple Balm for Lips (sample size): Love it, but I have a ton of other chapsticks and lip balms to get through. This one’s from my birchbox.

Benefit the PORE-fessional Pro Balm (sample size): I’m really happy I got this in a tiny little sample size first. I was going back and forth on whether I need a primer or not. I’m still not sure, but I’ve only used this twice.

Do you love beauty products as much as I do? Are you trying to finish up the last little bit of any makeup or skin care items right now?

 

what nobody ever told me about being a military spouse

Bonjour! I got a new blog layout! I’m so freaking happy that I actually followed through on this, asked for help and got it all up and running. I have a few more things to tweak, but overall I’m very very happy. Now on to today’s post…

I don’t really talk about being a military spouse all that often because it’s still very new to me and it’s not my main identity. I personally think it’s a little silly to refer to myself and take on the title of being married to someone else. For instance, if my husband was an accountant, I wouldn’t call myself an accountant’s wife.

Here are 10 things I’ve learned/experienced in my almost 2 years of being married to a sailor:

1. My husband is gone more than he is at home. Sometimes it’s over night, other times it’s for up to three months. Eventually it could be up to 10 months or more. During these times, we don’t talk on the phone and I sometimes go a few days without an email. Try building a marriage with someone you don’t actually see.

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2. I don’t have the luxury of living in my home state. Even if you hate where you’re from, it’s familiar. I navigate a completely new place with my two small children while my husband is away. Unless I make friends, I’m completely alone. There are no grandparents, cousins or friends from elementary school to hang out with.

3. Other military spouses can be very helpful (but sometimes the only thing you have in common with them is that your husbands have the same job). They text you when your mother in law is in town, they get you nice and drunk, pick your kids up from school, tell you what to wear to the Navy Ball, and help you figure out all the things your husband forgets to tell you. The drama can be real on facebook, but at the end of the day, they are my sisters.  The best resource I’ve used for Navy spouses is Compass Class. There may be something similar for other branches, but I’m not sure.

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4. I have this deep rooted fear that my friends from before I got married (who are all pretty liberal like me) hate me now because my husband trains for war. I also have this deep rooted fear that war will break out at any second and my husband will get called away and never come home.

5. My husband doesn’t kill people. He usually works 8 decks below an air craft carrier doing something with fuel so the airplanes can go places. Once his ship did humanitarian relief after a tsunami and some of his ship mates were exposed to nuclear waste and now have cancer and there’s a big lawsuit (probably very easy to google). He’s not on the ground shooting at people, but he does fuel the “machine” so to speak.

6. We don’t get discounts on everything. Generally, if there are discounts it’s like 5% off at places like Home Town Buffet, Grocery Outlet and Old Navy. Do I think I should be able to save $5 on clothes for my daughter because her dad puts his life on the line for us? YES.

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7. We move alot. I, as his spouse, have absolutely no say in where we move. Most of the time he doesn’t either. He gets to pick like his top 5 places but it all depends on the needs of the military and his job. If they don’t need fuel people in Hawaii right now, we’re not going there. It also depends on where there are actual navy bases at. There aren’t any in Paris.

8. I’m actually more patriotic than I realized. I actually take offense when people talk shit about the military, my husband and where we live. However, my husband isn’t in the military because he’s particularly patriotic, and when he’s not in uniform he gets treated like every other big black man in America. When he’s in his uniform, people want to hug him and shake his hand.

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9. Our health and dental insurance isn’t better than yours. We pay for some things (prescriptions, co-pays) just like you do. Sometimes more, sometimes less. And we get put on hold on the phone, are told to wait in line and sit in the ER with sick kids for hours just like you do.

10. My kids suffer. Just today my 8 year old son handed me a flier for soccer. He’s a total jock and wants to play. The season is starting soon. I had to tell him no because we won’t be living here much longer. His little face dropped and his eyes started watering. He has to switch schools again and worries about bullies. He has to leave his friends and his amazing teacher behind. He has no idea who will come to his birthday in April or if he’ll have friends by then.

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 So that’s about it. I hope this gives you a little bit of insight into my life and the lives of other military spouses and our families. We’re all pretty ordinary for the most part. Except we wear ball gowns more often than regular people.

a quick bonjour

Bonjour! Just wanted to give you guys a quick update on everything happening in my fake French world.

1. Blog revamp- I’ve found the graphic design people I want to switch me over from wordpress.com to wordpress.org and install a very chic blog template. That should be up by the end of the month or early March.

2. Work- Friday is my last day working in social services and working full time.

3. Life- Yes we’re still moving to Italy. My husband is leaving this month and me and the kids are leaving a little after that, like late March. So yeah, flying across the world with two small children, that’s all me.

4. Weekend- This weekend I’ll be at the San Diego Travel and Adventure Show. If you see me, come say Bonjour. I’ll be there on Saturday. I’ll probably be wearing a summery dress because I’m gonna try to take a selfie with Rick Steves (my secret bae).

5. Etc.- New blog posts coming up on being a military spouse, being a black woman and loving French culture, two French book reviews, more Monday musique, red lipstick, Afro-French youtubers, why I hate celebrity culture. All this month. Oh yes.

Looking forward to finally having more time to devote to this blog and to you.

Au Revoir

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jolie laide: bjork

Bonjour again. Haven’t written a jolie laide blog post in quite a little while, not because they are particularly difficult to do, but because I think every woman is so fucking beautiful. You know what I mean? But my jolie laide post on Lou Doillon was one of your favorites according to my stats, so I’ve decided to get back into writing them. And I’m starting out with a total badass: BJORK.

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Bjork is an Icelandic singer-songwriter, producer, actress, and musician. She wore a swan dress to the Oscars. She beat up a paparazzi who was in her and her kid’s face and they were getting off an airplane and she has the voice of an angel. Most recently, she’s been in the news for her new album (her best in years according to music critics) and her Pitchfork interview where she goes into not getting the credit she deserves as a musician/beatmaker/creator.

When people don’t credit me for the stuff I’ve done, it’s for several reasons. I’m going to get very methodical now! [laughs] One! I learned what a lot of women have to do is make the guys in the room think it was their idea, and then you back them up. Two! I spend 80% of the writing process of my albums on my own. I write the melodies. I’m by the computer. I edit a lot. That for me is very solitary. I don’t want to be photographed when I’m doing that.

Do you have a favorite Bjork song? Have you heard the new album yet?

all the links you can link: january

Bonjour,

There are so many things in my email box that I need to read ASAP. So many good writers! I’m obsessed with reading all the things. Here’s what I’m interested in right now.

First Lines from 37 People of Color You Missed in 2014

Superb Bloggers (always interested in what other bloggers are doing)

Unmournable Bodies

Melanin Zine (this is an actual issue of a zine, tons of pages on feminism and women of color, if you read this blog, you’ll probably like this)

Blogging Practices that Pay Off

Laverne Cox, Lupita Nyong’o, and More Talk the Best Style Advice They’ve Ever Received

15 of My All Time Fave Porn Star Quotes

T-Pain Talks (WITHOUT AUTOTUNE) to Us About FKA twigs, Kanye West and the Perils of His Comeback

Street Harassment is a Myth Invented by Socially Retarded White Women (probably total bullshit but still interested in hearing this perspective).

Hope you are having a kick ass week. Are you reading anything good?